“Opp Stops A Real Winner”

This one had me staring at the computer screen like this:

This morning, just after midnight, Odot spotted a car blasting down the 401 at high speed near Chatham. The officer stopped the 25-year-old driver in a 1992 Honda Accord who was going 167 km/h.

The driver was charged with:

- Stunt driving, marked departure from the lawful rate of speed;

- Speeding 167 km/h in a 100 km/ zone;

- Failure to surrender valid insurance card;

- Failure to surrender valid permit;

- Failure to lower headlamp beams.

Now here's the part that I hope you're sitting down for. He had a reason for leaving his high beams on and blinding oncoming motorists. The driver said that his windshield was dirty, so to compensate for the obscured view, he turned on his high beams, at 167 km/h, at night, on an unlit highway nicknamed "Carnage Alley." Obviously, this guy never played connect the dots as a kid; most people with a dirty windshield would have used their windshield washer fluid and wipers, or stopped and cleaned the windshield. I do not know how the officer managed to deal with the guy without laughing until he cried.

Here's the story from the Windsor Star: